This is a reply to Team Drone’s latest blog post, Willow Wishes, from a very disgruntled Team Kluane. Be careful what you wish for.

• Wish 1: Please can one of our drones start working again. We agree with this wish, but feel you do not provide enough evidence that “a fixed wing, some kites and a new drone are on their way to the island”.
• Wish 2: Please can the wind stay brisk. Be careful what you wish for, particularly when using vague, unscientific terms such as ‘brisk’. The wind has indeed picked up, to around 60mph, and as a result Qikiqtaruk is now in the throes of a strong storm surge. While I suspect that there are now very few mosquitoes, my understanding is that you are now completely flooded and no flights can land for several days, leaving us stranded in Inuvik. On balance, this is not a good outcome.
• Wish 3: Please can the Muskoxen stop knocking down our phenocams. Please clarify if this means you have awesome pictures of muskoxen knocking down phenocams.
• Wish 4: Please can the remainder of our field crew make it out very efficiently to us this week. See Wish 2.
• Wish 5: Please can all sorts of delicious fruits and vegetables come out with Team Kluane so that we can feast! In light of recent events we do not feel that this is either likely or appropriate. Also there is no mango.
• Wish 6: Jakob wishes he wasn’t after Isla’s cooking in the chores schedule. A rather complicated point. On one hand, information provided earlier by Team Kluane (Haydn Thomas, personal communication 17.07.2016) implies that Isla will be removed from cooking responsibilities due to the additional of team members. However, given Wishes 2 and 5, the probability of this occurring has now significantly decreased. This is further complicated by the fact that the food warehouse is now almost underwater.
• Wish 7: When we return to the city, can the pound be worth a normal amount. I do not think it is appropriate to use the term ‘normal’ in this context without explaining underlying assumptions. Given the political landscape of the last month, ‘normal’ has shifted in both essence and meaning. Indeed there has been some recent suggestion that the word itself should be rejected since it bears too close a resemblance to the French ‘normale’, and as such defers linguistic power to an unelected elite in Brussels. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to simply state that £1 currently equals $1.71, ($2.02 on this date in 2015, $1.54 in 2011).
• Wish 8: Please can Otto the Walrus come back to visit us again! We agree with this point.
• Wish 9: Please can we gain magical powers to both ward of mosquitoes and know where and when all the really cool wildlife are near us. We further suggest that a magical power to ward of storm surges and dry out runways could be considered.

Yours sincerely,
Team Kluane